“They can’t just eat sawdust!” wailed one family member. “But it’s Christmas, – they like getting lots of presents!” protested another when I baulked at the volume under the tree.
It’s one thing to change your own consumption habits. I can now look at reduced packets of the specialist cakes and biscuits I am restricted to and not want them if they contain a lot of plastic or palm oil. A few years ago I would have hoovered them up without a thought.
But it’s another to impose yours on your children isn’t it? Shouldn’t they just be able to enjoy a ‘normal’ childhood? What we consume and how we parent is almost more than anything else governed by our expectations of what’s normal. But what’s ‘normal’ about resource use is currently changing. A few years ago I happily bought plastic foam craft kits in plastic containers with no thought but to the creative stimulation it would give my child (and the few minutes peace it would give me). Now, I see craft cupboards in institutional set-ups as the future contents of my recycling/rubbish bins.
There is an apocryphal story of a monk who said to a guest “let us know if there’s anything you want and we’ll teach you how to live without it”. Given that that’s my tendency as a parent, I’m asking for a sense check on my framework of what I think is OK to deny children as a way of teaching them that there are limits to our resource use that are not to do with how much they cost. Some of these need a luxury of time (refilling bottles or looking in charity shops). Others have just been a change in what I see when I look at something. This isn’t trying to be a statement of virtue – there is an equally long if not longer statement of consumption I could make (I have done far more than my share of flying over the last few years). It’s a question about our norms. Can we break away from a childhood flooded with stuff, or will it always seem simply mean?
- not buying magazines with plastic toys
- hand-me down clothes and new ones from charity shops where possible
- no ‘character’ toothbrushes or toiletries if we can find bamboo or refill bottles
- choosing which presents (birthday or Christmas) they won’t keep before they get put in over-stocked cupboards
- not buying ‘gimic’ toys that entertain for only a few minutes
- only eating processed packet food like crisps and smoothies out of the house and in holidays on picnics
- not buying fruit (esp berries) out of season even if it’s their preference
- presents of toys/books/games from charity shops encouraged from others
- not buying clothes with plastic in/on (sequins, glitter etc)
- re-used craft materials and minimising plastic pens and plastic craft kits etc
- no big one-off birthday balloons
- re-using stationery from my childhood and writing notes in pencil rather than biro
- jumpers are compulsory – thermostat at home is almost never above 19 degrees
I’d love to know what you think.