Friendship matters immensely. It comes in many forms and circumstances create all sorts. At its most fleeting it might be a momentary connection – such as a friendly opinion given by a stranger in a changing room that helps you decide on an outfit. Then there are the friendships of circumstance born of being thrown together on a daily or weekly basis. These have huge value. Without those connections borne of circumstance, our routines would be far more bland and self-serving. When we need help, it is the friends we know through our weekly routines that are often most likely to step in.
Some friendships go deeper – for a season of your life it might be that you could not imagine living without the input and mutual connection with a particular friend. Perhaps it might just be for that season; perhaps it might be sustained beyond. But either way, it should be treasured for what it meant to you at a particular time.
But anchor friends are something else – those with whom our connection goes far beyond the initial circumstance that brought you together. You can’t see anchors but they keep you steady; You can tug on them every so often to check they are secure; and however, the times and tides change, you remain connected.
What makes an Anchor Friendship?
“A friendship that is taken seriously, even if there isn’t frequent contact.
A friendship that has shaped you in some way, and remains a reference point for your decisions: When you see each other – you can pick up as before because even though you don’t know the details of each other’s circumstances, you know how they will be approaching life.
A friendship that connects you to something important from past, or family or even your personality that might be hidden – but is kept alive through your friendship.
A friend whose interests and perspectives that you value in all sorts of aspects of your life – far beyond the context in which you met.
A friendship that stays in your head – experiences or stories that make you laugh, pause for thought or smile in affection – and for that friend you make a mental note of what they would enjoy or be intrigued by.
A friendship where things can be said or talked about that others could not express or would not dare to mention.
A friend who, when you think of them, or better still have spent time together, you stand more solidly on where you’ve come from, and walk more lightly in who you are because you are anchored in that friendship.”
If any of my ‘Anchor friends’ are reading this – – this is in part to cherish you and thank you for what you mean to me!
And with that thought, I’m leaving off blogging until the Autumn now but thanks for reading this far and I hope to share more thoughts in future!